So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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