State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
