I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
