shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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