What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Green mimosas i think yes
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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