My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
