Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
