No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
