I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
