just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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