she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
