He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
