your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
