Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
