it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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