...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You made out with two different species that night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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