Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
