You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
