his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
