If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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