That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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