lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i've created a new STD.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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