Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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