it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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