i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I could fuck to npr.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize