woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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