So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
where am i from again
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
