Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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