All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
