Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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