just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
