She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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