the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
