you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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