you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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