I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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