Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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