Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
