You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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