What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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