You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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