wake up i wanna do it froggy style
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
