Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Randomize
