his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
