Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
