i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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