So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
