forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
