omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
