So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
