That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
