Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize