Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
