i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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