seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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