we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
