So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
