I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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