I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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