Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
