dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
