Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
